hunger

Is such a powerful motivating force. It's also a key to some serious attachments of mine, and no I won't go back to my childhood and tell you about how I starved, and I mean really starved. I have no need or desire to tell you about that.

The ugly truth is, that now, I'm fat. I'm fat because Ieat too much and sit too much and dont get the exercise I did in my youth. True I was healthier then, but age shouldn't be an excuse. I have a marvelous step aunt from Alsaise (sp) Lorraine who's in her 80's and still swims each day and rollerblades! Yes, you read right, rollerblades! I swear, the woman is a Goddess :D

But this isn't about my beloved Auntie Mary. This is about me and my butt chunky desire to eat. I know Lama told me not to skip meals because one could still be overweight and starve, but after eating raman today (yes Iknow that's light years off my diet) but being so hungry and shaky I couldn't stand it any more and ate it anyway, the payoff was far less satisfying. Not to mention that they looked like something cultivated in the microbiology class I took during my brief but spectacular fail at nursing school. No I didn't kill anyone. I was, according to my instructors, too tender hearted, The ramen wasn't good, not to mention how utterly unsatisfying it was. My stomach is full but my lower belly is threatening vengance. First oatmeal, now ramen. God, what else is she going to stick down here? I can hear the ominous creaking in my personal basement even as we speak.

I have 8 more days left until I can go back to paleo. JW said he couldn't see justifying spending nearly two bucks on a can of tuna and i can't blame him. I know it's expensive. But something has to be done. Gluten triggers my asthma, rice spikes my blood sugar. I know he wants to go back to eating like we did before but I so, oh so don't want too. It literally makes me ill. Again.

Oh yeah and blood pressure is back up. I can tell because I can hear that steady thump thumping in my neck.

Im' wondering if I could just fast until dinner each evening. Most of the meals planned for dinner are neo or have neo components. The question is, could I go 8 days without my blood sugar tanking? I'm wondering if it'd be worth the risk.