Friday, July 31, 2009

Last Dance

Peak flow 350

Wow, 1978 was such a good year. I was 19, owned a kickass car, and the whole world was open to possibilites. And there was the smoking hot Donna Summer.
When I was in highschool I bragged I'd be the next Earnest Hemingway. I'd travel to Spain, and sneak in to Cuba. I'd write about bullfights, love and adventure. I was going to India to see the Dalai Lama.

I never did those things, (but I still hold out hope of meeting HH. the Great 14th some day) and I didn't come to the same bad end as Papa Hem did.
But I'm still writing. I'm still keeping the faith, and sometimes when I'm feeling abit nostalgic, I listen to Donna Summer.
She was so great.

So tonight I let go of my hardest attachment. Not permanently mind you, just that I have finally come to realize that my son isn't a child any longer. He's grown. He's 19, has a great girlfriend and a bitching apartment.) So now I have (tearfully of course) let my little boy go into manhood. He's going to be a good man; I'm sure.

Tonight was chinese food again. Different restaurant. it was the kid's choice, I was all for going to Golden Corrall where i could find paleo friendly foods. Especially graze of f their fruit bar. But the Chinese buffet wasn't too bad. I still loaded up on seeded red grapes, three slices of watermelon and honey dew melon. Plus nibbled on veggies and a tad of meat. I did have a little dessert which didn't suit me. it was too salty, sweet and not as good as I remembered. Im hoping JW will go to town later tonight and pick me up another melon. I've been craving them like crazy.

Something remarkable happened when I was meditating yesterday. It was pouring down rain. The sky was black and the rain came down in sheets. Then as I went through my practice the rain slowed, the sun came out and beautiful golden light poured into my office/shrine room. It was unbelievably beautiful. I felt so happy and at peace.
Tonight I feel strangely different, not just because my kid finally has his own pad, but in a more spiritual way. Something moved inside me. I can't and probably shouldn't explain it further. It's too private, too intimate. I'll let that go for now.
I may discuss it with Lama in our next tele call.
Hugs to all and good night.
om mani padme hum.

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