Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Like menupause for chocolate



I read the book but haven't seen the film. What can you say about a romance so hot it literally burns down a haceinda?



Peak flow 300

Lunch: two slices of turkey meat
Dinner: 6 am: 8 oz glass water.
mint tea
breakfast red seedless grapes and ice water.
7 am tuesday's mahamudra of imperminence and emptiness
12 oz glass of ice water

9-11 class with Lama J
2 slices of turkey meat, handful of reeses cups.
12 oz glass Ice water

3 pm. Middling Three Cauldrons practice (walking)
12 oz glass ice water
5 grapes
Heart Treasure Reading
HEart of compassion reading
Path to Enlightenment reading
(Yeah I usually do one at the 11 am, another at 3 and the last at 7 but today got a bit scrambled.)
6:30: Ice water.

Roast chicken, steamed veggies, one small biscuit. (no more bread. I realize it smells better than it tastes.)

7 PM Extensive Three Cauldron's Practice, sitting.

addendum: I was surprised to see a jackrabbit watching me as I did my walking practice. He didn't move until after I turned to go behind the house. It was quite remarkable.




I snacked on a couple of slices of turkey meat. And may Chenrezig help me, several mini reeses peanut butter cups. I am so bad. They were a birthday present and being the chocoholic that I am I promised I'd eat a few just for politeness sake, set them on a shelf somewhere for JW to find and snack upon later.
Instead I've been snarking down the damned things since after my class with Lama Jigme and literally had to make myself stop.

I've had um maybe seven or eight, depending. I lost count.

I'm definately jonsing for a bladder infection. Nothing quite says 'never do this again' when you're screaming on the toilet hoping to go but praying that you don't.

I put the rest away, and oh I hope my inner strength holds up.

I know why the guys did it. And I know it's a conspiracy. My estrogen isn't working as effectively as it used to. Last night I spent from 7-11 pm feeling as if I were burning from the inside out. Never fear, it's just part of the journey.

I know the doc will want to put me on a larger dosage of estrace but as you know I don't wanna do that. The plan is to stop taking it altogether. And I will. Lama said he'd work with me on this and for that I'm profoundly greatful. And the guys will have to be patient. Or go fishing. Either one is fine with me.

But back to the consipracy. Yes, I've been a cranky little Buddhist...from 7pm till 11.pm when I take the last of my daily meds. The estrace is taken at bedtime. I have no idea why. So from 7-11 I'm literally sweating it out, doing sutric and tantric questions while walking around outside in the cool night air (I dare someone to try and mug me) and working with the Three Cauldron's Practice in between.

What is this?
(hot flash)
Letting go.

Trust me, it works wonders.

So I've been cranky and rumor has it that chocolate sootheth the cranky female.

And it does so in such a wonderful way. But the problem is that chocolate, (even though the least refined extra dark (sigh) chocolate has positive attributes, flavanoids, antioxidants, etc...) those positive attributes are tainted by the fat, sugar and (yes) salt that it contains. In short. It might be good but it's not good for you. Think of it as pouring rat poison into a pure liquid; all the beneficial effects are nullified.

And besides, I don't particularly care for carrying around this excess...um...chocolate...especially on my backside.

Worry not, I've put all of this on the path of liberation. Today I'll be releasing bad habits back into the wild, where they belong. Don't worry. They won't breed. I have a spay/neutering program that really works.

I know the boys meant well but I would have been so much happier with a basket of mangos or a box of cherries. But I can't say those Reeses are going to remain safely unmolested on top of the bedroom dresser. I will, however, give it my best shot.

But they did get me some grapes, strawberries and grapefruit, and I'm so very happy with that. I just can't tell you. And I saw that fresh broccoli, mushrooms and asian veggies are carefully stored in the fridge. Does this mean Z is going to make my favorite birthday dinner??? I'll know in 2 days.

Now I discovered something startling when I went to take grapefruit out of the bag this morning. Stamped on the plastic bag was a warning of sorts. Apparantly, the grapefruit's outer rind is covered in petroleum (YES PETROLEUM) wax or other intoxicants to help preserve the fruit.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???

Putting petroleum products on a poor defenseless grapefruit? Who would do such a horiffic thing?

That. Is. So. Wrong.

There should be a produce protection bureau.
Don't laugh. I'm quite serious.

So,when I have breakfast in the morning, I'll take my veggie peeler and gently remove the layer of outer rind on the grapefruit. That should take care of the intoxicants that are on the outside of the fruit. What about what's in the inside? I can't tell you but I bet they too are toxic to some degree.

A very wise person once told me that there's nothing truly pure in samsara. And boy was he not kidding. Have you ever looked, I mean really looked at what's inside a coca cola? Benzine. And do you know what that is??? My darlings, its the same thing they use in pulpwood factories to preserve wood. Now why on earth would someone willingly drink wood preservative?

After I discovered that little tidbit of horrific information, I never drank another soda again. And if you're wise, you won't either.

Be happy today.
End of line.

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