Please oh Please don't let some clown fix you lunch!

Breakfast: ice water
Lunch: none (mint tea)
dinner: clear beef broth and ice water

Peak flow: 350

Im fasting today. My digestive tract is way way too sensitive to put anything into it, no matter how badly my stomach begs. Right now, just sipping water or hot mint tea is a challenge. It's weird, but every time I swallow something it feels like it hangs a bit before going on down.

It's got to be due to the refined neo food I've been eating. I know I need to eat but the results are just not worth it.

I cooked breakfast for the guys, stayed in the kitchen and washed up while they ate. I was afraid someone (JW especially becomes distressed when I don't eat) might try to coax me into eating, but they didn't. Afterwards I went into the office to escape the smell of cooked eggs and bacon and to catch up on my mail. I hate the smell of eggs anyway. No matter how they're cooked they always smell like burned hair.

My brother is far sicker than I and I am so worried about him. His lungs were damaged when he was working out at the plant. And the dog hair is getting to him. He says he's thinking about sleeping in the car or out at the farm at night. He's had the worst time, bless his heart. He keeps asking me why things are going so badly for him. I jokingly told him he must have shot a pope in his past life. But the truth is, everyone suffers. But lately it seems as if he's getting more than his share. I just don't know what to say. I don't have the answer. If I tell my very Christian brother that he's burning off negative karma he won't get it. I suggested he read the Book of Job. (Couldn't hurt?)

I worry. I know Lama Jigme tells me that worry sits underneath the umbrella of love, but sometimes it has teeth and claws and red swollen eyes and threatens to tear your heart out.

I am beginning to think that when it's not resting underneath the umbrella of love, it's lurking underneath the bridge of fear. And I've promised not to walk over that bridge without my trust in the dharma.

In either case, it's best not to feed the beast. I'm learning not too.

I've been trying to sell my bro on the benefits of a paleo diet, but he's not interested. He just won't give up his love affair with "Little Debbie" (In case you don't know what they are, they're highly refined over sweet snack cakes. Yeah I was addicted to the little heifer's chocolate swiss rolls.) Now they sound to horrible to even contemplate.

Little Debbie is a sugar pimp.

I found cherries, especially the bings were the best in releaving the inflammation from my lungs. I'm jonsing for some more, along with mangos, red grapes and strawberries. Especially red grapes. If I could convince Z to eat just the grapes I know he'd feel better. I understand his relunctance tho, I shared it for awhile. Until I actually went paleo and the benefits were amazing. My blood sugar stabilized, my blood pressure went down and I had fewer asthma attacks.

ANd I lost some weight. Which is always awesome.

The contrast between how I felt then and how I feel now is astonishing. Now that I've been eating neolithic foods my stomach is always upset, I'm having to take immodium to keep my digestive tract from expelling everything including vital organs and I'm just so damned lethargic. All I want to do is sleep. Not good.

Today I plan to give my poor stomach a rest, doing clear liquids although my stomach feels like it's trying to make the great escape via my backbone. It'll get over it. Im not feeding it. I'm just not. Tomorrow I'll try something bland. I'm praying that by the time we get the check my stomach will be more agreeable. The 3rd is my birthday. And I want my birthday dinner. Preferably asian. I know of a great Asian restaurant that has an amazing fruit and salad bar. And their veggies are steamed and no MSG. MSG has got to be one of the most toxic substances since the Romans put powdered lead on their food. No kidding. They actually did that.

One of the most striking commercials I saw was a few days ago, when a man was standing at the counter of a fast food joint, and the counter girl asks if he wants pain now or later. When the customer asks what she means the manager explains, do you want heartburn pain now or later.

I know what the commercial was attempting to do. It was geared toward selling antacids. But I got another, more insidious message from that piece, and a question: Why would you want to eat anything that would make you sick?

So. Could it be that our society is so geared towards eating bad food that having to take medication for it so that you can actually get food down and keep it that way is the norm?

Hmmm....
Something definately to think about.
end of line.