Sunday, August 16, 2009

My son with a friend.
Peak Flow: 450

My blood sugar spiked this morning after eating a bowl of rice. No more rice for moi. I gotta figure out something else to consume otherwise I'm going to be in serious trouble. I have one grapefruit left. half of that will be breakfast in the morning, the other half, tuesday. I miss grapes. Next month JW agreed we'd store up backup provisions for ourselves; canned fruit for him and corned beef, tuna, salmon and dried fruit for myself. I'm thinking some dried fruit and almonds would make an excellent breakfast 'cereal.' sans milk and grains.

My brother brought over a carton of eggs and another big bowl of chili he had stored in his freezer. JW will also be going over to the food bank. Yes I know it'll be mostly neolithic food but it'll give JW something to eat. That's what I'm most concerned about. Im still hoping for carrots and celery to sustain me through this lean period. I dont even care if they're organic or not as long as they're paleo and crunchy.

School is nearly ready to start, and I am feeling bitter sweet about it all. My son is now grown and now out on the big job hunt, and he'll have to find something soon because he has only another two weeks before the land lord comes pounding on his door. I dont' know how we'll be able to help out much. I may have to find a part time job myself if I can't shovel out some more quick essays and short articles, along with this next book that should have been out ages ago.

But i digress, as usual. This isn't about me per se. It's about impermenence. Sometimes imperminence is a good thing; like pregnancy. Thank god it doesn't last forever. It ends and even though the ending is such a tremendous relief, it too seems bittersweet. Its the end of an age. But when the little one comes he/she doesn't stay young forever. He/she grows up, and way too quickly too. My son is now 19, has his own place a beautiful fiancee (NOT the girl in the picture) and still wants to go to college.

I however am having trouble catching my breath. It seems only such a short time ago when he was a little kid, his book bag hung over his shoulder, standing at the corner with his cousins and other neighborhood kids catching the bus.

And all the neighborhood kids have grown up as well, and they too have blown away like the chaff off of winter wheat. When I was a kid, I thought I'd be a kid forever. Adulthood seemed so far away. And two weeks I'll be 51. I don't feel nearly that old. Not by a longshot. In my mind, I'm still 19. I don't even think about age until I start doing my morning flow series of hatha yoga, then my body aches and gripes and swears at me with each creak and pop, letting me know without a shadow of a doubt that I neglected this body and now I'll pay for it with sore achy joints and muscle spasms.

Surprisingly, however, I still don't look my age. A lady not too long ago thought I was in my early 40's. Two women, one whom I knew and another whom I did not commented quite surprisingly that they thought I was beautiful and said I glowed.

See my pic, and you'll know that I'm far from pretty, but then again I never cared much. Vanity was not something I particularly cared about. But when my brother was over today he commented about a fellow neighbor who we went to school with and he was shocked at how he'd aged. I am a few years older than this guy but he looks decades older than me. And another friend from school whom I encountered last week also....very strange...
Lama said its about stress, and about what they put into their bodies...nicotine, bad food, caffiene...alcohol and so on. I always attributed it to genetics; my dad would say its from living right...I think Lama and Dad are on the right track. And it's probably somewhat genetic too. At least I hope so.

Breakfast: cinnamon rice (spiked my blood sugar. It was nice and level until I started consuming starch)
Lunch: chili with crackers (I can't eat chili without something in it.)
Dinner: baked chicken and broccoli/cauliflowers lightly steamed.

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