august 15th Saturday

The above song is by Rita Coolidge, her Cherokee name is Walela, which means, Mourning Dove. Enjoy.


Peak flow 450


It's been a long exhausting day. I got lots done though, from cleaning out closets (I yearn to see mine as a vast empty expanse) to tossing out old, broken or needless things. My husband is the quinetessential packrat. He keeps things like recipts (from as far back as 1988) to empty boxes. Why? They might be useful someday.
As for myself? I'm tired of the house looking like a storage building. So I started emptying things out. Letting go of attachments, especially to those things that have no real value. Like grocery reciepts from 1988.

I did get my practice times in. I spent the early morning outside meditating, enjoying the cool early morning air. The sky a brilliant clear blue, the scent of pines heavy in the air. The birds have almost all left now; even the wrens who built a nest in the hole below the bedroom windowsill have raised their fledglings and have all gone, parents and children. I miss them. I enjoyed watching them in the early mornings when I went out to practice. And the jays and cardnials have all left as well. Mourning doves perch on the poles and wail wah le la as they call to their mates. The cicadias are almost all gone. In July they filled the air with their song, and now you hear only the sad buzzing of the few remaining looking for mates before the long 7 year hibernation season.

Soon everything will be hushed and still, as if summer is too hot and exhausted to continue. All that remains is hundreds of dragonflies buzzing the vacant lot next to the house. Their gossimer wings catching the sunlight, glinting like sparks of fire as they dance above dew laden grass.

The wind picks up. This time from the north, and it tells me that summer is nearly over. The trees whisper, their branches clattering in the breeze; talking about the impermanence of summer. Fall is on the way, perhaps sooner than we realize, and my instincts tell me quite clearly it is time to prepare before the bad weather hits and we have to hunker down, warmed with electric heaters and extra blankets. I won't be baking bread this year and I'll miss that.
I do look forward to the early frosty mornings in some ways; sitting out at the patio table in the front yard, wrapped in a blanket, frost covering the grasses like tiny jeweled fragments, my breath coming out in heavy moist puffs as I recite the MANI.
I have to admit I do love autumn, with the crisp coldness and flawless azure sky...hearing chevrons of geese passing overhead in the night on their way to the salt marshes of Bolivar Penisula, Texas, where I spent many a summer back in the 80's.
I have to admit also a hint of jealousy when I sat outside in the sunlight today when JW was mowing the yard and I was looking over at a neighbor's garden, lush and full. We have little to eat and not enough land to grow any vegetables on. The lot next door belongs to the city and although we've begged them to let us use it, they refuse.
I looked at that garden with longing, sad, angry, helpless. I started to weep.
But then I realized that I wasn't really all that hungry. I was just letting jealously and my attachment to food get to me.
I went inside, and worked until late afternoon. Soon the neighbor's beautiful garden was forgotten. Now, after my evening practice, I can say that I am happy they have it. The people who have it are elderly and on a fixed income. Elderly people, like children, should never go hungry. Im strong and healthy, I could definately lose a few pounds. So whats' the big deal if I have to eat only twice a day instead of three? They have a garden and they can be healthy too. I should be glad for them.

I'm trying. I'm trying...

Anyway, here's what was available today. Monday JW goes to the food bank. I pray there'll be garden veggies again like last time. I'd love some carrots and celery.
breakfast cinnamon rice
Dinner, beef tips and steamed veggies.

And just for Melody, here's my recipe for cinnamon rice. It's totally NOT paleo friendly, but a good filler when you have nothing else.

Cinnamon rice
1 cup cooked rice white or brown
1tbs cinnamon
butter or margarine (margarine is not real food, but if it's all you got, it's all you got)
raw honey to taste.

I've had to use sugar and it's just as good.

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl, and enjoy.
Good night all.