Saturday, September 25, 2010

Three Faux Pas

Last thanksgiving my seventeen year old nephew and his girlfriend came into the kitchen where I was busy preparing vegetables for the evening feast. He draped one arm casually over his girlfriend’s shoulder and says, “See how skinny my girlfriend is?”


This was NOT something you should say to your Rubinesque aunt of an uncertain age.

I spent the next ten minutes meditating on my rage with the techniques I was taught by my teacher:

IN-breath: {Where/ What [is] rage?
OUT-breath: Chen-re-zig

IN-breath: How rage  NOT
OUT-breath: satisfy?

IN-breath: How could rage
OUT-breath: never last?

IN-breath: How could  rage
OUT-breath: NOT be Grasp’d?

IN-breath: Chen-re-zig
OUT-breath: Letting-go

I had to go through this cycle of practices several times, but it worked. At least I hadn’t chopped up my fingers along with the carrots.

 Once calmer, I realized it was time that my nephew learned the secret. What is this secret? It’s the secret that keeps men from getting their sacks snatched off by an enraged female.

If you wish to live a long peaceful life with the woman of your dreams I told him, never commit these three faux pas:

  1.  Never ever ever ever discuss your girlfriends weight, especially around another woman. We make comparisons, you see.
  2.  Never discuss your girlfriend’s age, or any woman’s age for that matter.
  3. Never ever brag to your lover about your past sexual exploits. Wanna die early? Bring up an old girlfriend in middle of lovemaking. I promise it won't be pretty.

At this point you might be wondering how this pertains to the Dharma, to diet and exercise. Perhaps not diet and exercise so much, unless you commit the unthinkable and are too out of shape to run for your life, but there is a bit of Dharma to convey to you within this little post. If you haven't guessed already, I'll tell you. The first was my use of Dharma to keep from ripping my nephew's face off and the second was being mindful of what you say to others.

Enjoy your Sunday.
om mani padme hum
NOTE: Yes, I know it's a wine commercial. Im not advocating alcohol.
Read the subtitles if you're not fluent in French. Then you'll understand why I chose it to illustrate today's post.

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