Sunshine for Breakfast

There's no doubt about it. I've got to get a DVD copy of HAIR.


I was looking at my online food journal last night, plugging in my food plan for today. And after it juggled some numbers and gave me it's verdict (ironically in pie chart form) I realized that I was lacking in only one or two key nutrients, my paleo diet was low in calories, high in fiber and nutrients and, tada! My resting metabolism is burning calories at a higher rate than when I was ingesting tons of refined crap.

The only thing truly disturbing about this is the discovery of stretch marks.
While blossoming out to my full weight, and now shrinking back to normal, (having gone from day--UM! to just fat) I discovered I had severely damaged my skin. I don't see how that could be repaired, and am wondering if I'll have any excess skin left after all of this is said and done.
I voiced my concern to JW and he said, if you do, it won't be a problem. We'll go to Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock and donate the excess skin to their burn unit.

I like that idea. It certainly will benefit others. I'm not keen on the idea of going under the knife again, but if I do have floppy skin left over, its a nice way to get rid of it.

But back the that one key missing nutrient. Vitamin D. I don't get that through dairy any longer (I'm lactose intolerant anyway and glad to see milk go. I no longer crave cheese.) But I know that vitamin D is a nessessary nutrient and so there was only one other source to get it.

Go outside.

So I went out first thing this morning and got thirty minutes of healthy warm fall sunshine. It's streaming through my office window now as I write.

Sunlight not only gave me the vitamin I needed but significantly raised my spirits as well.

There's nothing like meditating outside on a cool fall day, with the sky a deep sapphire blue and sunlight touching trees and making everything look like an illuminated painting.

Sitting in serene awareness, absorbing sunshine, catching the sweet scent of pine and honeysuckle, feeling the blessedly cool air on my face....and then...letting it all go...

(What is this?)
(Letting Go)
(Chenrezig)
(Letting Go)
(This)
(Ease)

I love a blissful, quiet morning. And sitting there, in that instant of serene awareness, everything falls away and you experience who you really are. Sometimes I catch glimpses of insight, like sunlight sparkling on lake water. Sometimes I simply experense awareness. Awareness of former lives, for example. Sometimes the awareness is somewhat disturbing, like realizing the total emptiness of your name. You lose your name after death, are given a new one by your parents upon birth, and then after death you lose your name again.

(What is this?)
(letting go)

Did we ever have a name in the first place? No. It's only a label. A label we use to, for the lack of a better term, to identify our (selves)in this current lifetime.

Upon death I will cease being Patricia Louise and end up being something else.
But what?

(What is this?)
(Chenrezig)

How many times have I been called Patricia? How many times have I just...been?

Perhaps the fear of death isn't in the loss of the life, but in loss of the identity we became accustomed to.

(What is this)
(Letting go)

And what about the identities of our loved ones? Those whom we cherish above all others in this lifetime? And what about those whom we loved early in past lifetimes? Do we cherish them still as dearly as we did those whom we know now?

Who or what will they be? Will we recognize each other after our passing through the Bardo?
(Chenrezig)
(letting go)

I knew Lama Jigme in a former life, but not by the current name he has now. I knew JW in a former life, but our roles were switched. Will I know them again in Potala? Will I recognize my husbands wives and children and all the parents and grandparents before me in this and previous lives?

Yes, but they, like myself, probably won't have a name. Because a name is a label, and labels are impermanent.

And this revelation, stunning in it's purity, rises from the riverbed of my mind and leaps upward into the morning sunlight. In a flash, I am back to this life, sitting in this chair, with the sun on my face and the trees gossiping amongst themselves in the breeze. I feel somewhat disturbed by the revelation. Of names and labeling, of the utter purity of impermanence and emptiness.

It's all empty. Everything is empty.

(letting go)
(this)
(ease)
(Chen)
(ease)

And Tsuki barks, wanting in. Wanting her breakfast and later, her spot on the floor beside the bed, where the curtains are slightly open and sunlight spills onto the floor like a block of liquid gold.

Changing gears...

I want to reintroduce oats into my diet. Just once a week. Oats are a grain, I know and not paleo because they, like all grains, have to be refined. But After doing some research last night I came to realize that perhaps the benefits of oats outweigh the the negatives, providing they're eaten properly.

Oats are, after all, a healing herb. They lower cholesterol, fight cancer, and absorb excess bile. I can definately do with the latter as I no longer have a gall bladder and waking in the middle of the night with acid reflux is not appealing.

But the trouble with oats is they're cooked, then have sugar and globs of butter dumped into them, and yes, even milk, or worse, heavy cream. And by the time you have your oats you've eaten something that is not natural and totally unrecognizable.
And full of sugar, fat and salt.

So.
The best way to eat oats is raw. Yes, you heard me. Raw.
But before you run screaming from the crazy fat lady hear me out.
I tried it this morning and it wasn't so bad. In fact, I discovered I like raw oats much better than cooked.

The oats you buy in the store are already cooked. They have to be. It's part of the refining process. So when you cook oats again, all you're doing double kill, destroying the key nutrients in the grain that keeps you healthy.
Besides, if you eat granola, then you've already had them raw, so, aside from all the processed crap that goes into granola, what's the diff?

This morning I made my own version of granola, using just 1/4 cup of oats, red seedless grapes, and a handful of sliced unsalted almonds.
And guess what? It was good. The grapes provided the sweetness, the oats themselves have a delicate nutty flavor, and the almonds give it an added crunch and compliments the flavors of the oats.

I wouldn't recommend doing this every day, especially if you're doing Paleo. But once a week as part of or in conjunction with one of your open meals should be of help in your nutritional journey.

Now, I'm off to write. I'll call my neighbor today and see if the offer for fresh mustard greens is still on. I'm going to beg for some pecans from her tree as well.
Enjoy your day.
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